Friday, October 8, 2010
Musings on beauty, purpose and me...
A friend sent me a beautiful journal prompt yesterday:
"If you had to answer what type of mark you would like your time here to imprint on your life,
your soul, your spirit...what would you say? What in this life do you just want to experience for you, for your heart, just for Erica to be able to say...that filled me, my heart sang, I was, and I am....what do you want just for you?
... and I realized that as a Social Worker to the core, I don't often spend time with that question of nourishing me... it all to often turns external and towards helping others. I have been trying to answer that question more frequently for myself recently and turns out it makes a huge difference in the ease of what I can offer others. I have always told other people that you can't give what you don't have, but I haven't taken that to heart myself. I haven't truly integrated that into every cell of my being. So that has been my intention as of late, to deeply nourish me, my soul, to find what brings me joy... and to let go of the "shoulds" of the "buts" of all of those voices who keep me from joy. So this was some of my response.
I think what brings me joy and what makes my heart sing is collecting moments of beauty... and being able to bring out beauty in people, in situations, in words... even it if is only for me. I love to live more deeply, to bring out the richness in life. To find the extraordinary in the ordinary.
To find the words that will add texture and life, to find the picture that will enhance the words...
I have also been reminded how much I like a guitar, a soulful voice and an authentic human being being lit from within with the passion and excitement for what they are doing. Being a part of that, being able to applaud and witness something so intimate.
All of these things make my heart sing... to sit here and weave words, to be able to pour out exactly where I am at any given point in time... that is something that makes my heart sing, that I crave... the time to really listen to my writers soul... to honor that deep need that I have to make sense of life on paper.